Situation Snapshot
👶
Your daughter
Violet — in your care since Katie left You have physical custody
✈️
Your status
Active duty U.S. Air Force, Tucson AZ — protected under the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act (SCRA)
🚪
What Katie did
While Alex was deployed, Katie began communicating with MJ. When Alex returned home, Katie voluntarily left — abandoning both Alex and Violet — to be with MJ in Missouri Abandoned child
📍
Katie's location
Missouri — living with MJ, a registered sex offender. MJ fathered Katie's son Joseph when Katie was 14 years old. Katie has returned to him as an adult.
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Katie's legal status
Recently arrested for evading arrest — cannot leave Missouri pending court appearances Active legal hold
📅
Her demand
Visitation with Violet by June 15 — despite having abandoned her, having an active arrest, and being unable to travel
Timeline of Events
✈️
Alex deploys
Leaves Tucson on active duty orders. Violet is at home with Katie.
💬
Katie begins communicating with MJ while Alex is deployed
MJ is a registered sex offender — he fathered Katie's son Joseph when Katie was 14 years old. She reconnects with him while her husband is overseas.
🏠
Alex returns home from deployment
Comes back to Tucson expecting to reunite with his family.
🚪
Katie leaves — abandoning Alex and Violet
After Alex returns, Katie voluntarily departs for Missouri to be with MJ. She leaves Violet behind with Alex. No custody arrangement exists.
🚔
Katie arrested in Missouri — evading arrest
Katie now has pending court dates and is legally prohibited from leaving Missouri.
📩
Katie demands visitation with Violet by June 15
Despite abandoning Violet, carrying an active arrest, and being stuck in Missouri with a registered sex offender, Katie is demanding to see her daughter.
⚖️
Now — Alex takes legal action
File for an emergency/temporary custody order before June 15. Formalize what is already the reality: Violet is safe and stable with Alex in Tucson.
Alex's position is strong — here's why
- Violet has been in Alex's care since Katie voluntarily abandoned her — he is the stable, present parent
- Katie left Violet behind — she did not take her, she walked out on her
- Katie has an active arrest for evading arrest and cannot legally leave Missouri
- Katie is living with MJ — a registered sex offender who had a sexual relationship with Katie when she was 14
- Katie's involvement with MJ began while Alex was deployed overseas serving his country
- Military deployments legally cannot be used against Alex in custody decisions (SCRA + Arizona law)
- No formal custody order exists yet — Alex can establish primary custody now, before Katie can act
What to say: "I'm active duty Air Force and I need to speak with a legal assistance attorney about an urgent child custody matter. My wife abandoned our daughter and is now demanding visitation by June 15. I need to understand my rights before I respond to anything."
Also available 24/7: Military OneSource — free legal referrals · (800) 342-9647 · militaryonesource.mil
Opening:
"Hi, my name is Alex. I'm active duty U.S. Air Force stationed in Tucson. I'm going through a divorce and have an urgent child custody situation. My wife abandoned our daughter and is now demanding visitation by June 15. I need to speak with an attorney as soon as possible — do you have availability this week?"
If asked for a summary:
"While I was deployed, my wife Katie began communicating with a man named MJ — a registered sex offender who fathered her child when she was 14 years old. When I came home, she voluntarily left — abandoning me and our daughter Violet to be with MJ in Missouri. She was recently arrested for evading arrest and cannot leave Missouri. She is now demanding visitation with Violet by June 15. Violet has been in my care the entire time. I want to establish formal custody before I respond to anything."
Stay factual. Don't editorialize or get emotional on the phone. Save the full details for the consultation — that's what it's for.
- Do you have experience with military family law and SCRA protections for active duty members?
- Can we file for an emergency or temporary sole custody order given that I have Violet and Katie has an active arrest?
- Katie voluntarily abandoned Violet when she left — how does that affect her standing to demand visitation?
- What is Arizona's jurisdiction when Violet and I are here, but Katie is in Missouri?
- How does Katie living with a registered sex offender — one who had a sexual relationship with her when she was a minor — affect her petition for visitation?
- How do I formally respond to her June 15 demand in a way that protects me legally?
- How does Katie's contact with MJ during my deployment factor into the divorce in Arizona?
- What are your fees, and do you offer a military discount?
- What is your earliest availability — can we file something before June 15?
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Violet's full name and date of birthRequired for any legal filings
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Marriage date and the date Katie leftEstablishes when she voluntarily abandoned the household
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Your deployment orders and datesConfirms you were deployed when Katie began contact with MJ
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Screenshots of all messages where Katie demands visitationEspecially anything referencing June 15 — date-stamped is ideal
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Any messages or evidence of Katie's contact with MJ during deploymentEstablishes the timeline — ask your attorney how this plays in AZ
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Documentation of Katie's arrest in MissouriCharge: evading arrest — get the case/arrest number if possible
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MJ's sex offender registry recordSearch Missouri Sex Offender Registry: mshp.dps.mo.gov — screenshot his name, offense, and listed address
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Katie's current Missouri addressShould match MJ's registered address — important for filings and demonstrating the living situation
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Your military ID and proof of Arizona residency
Do not respond to Katie in writing without your attorney
Don't reply to her demands by text, email, or any other written form until you've spoken to a lawyer. Anything you say can be used in proceedings. If she contacts you, keep it short: "I'll be in touch through my attorney." Then stop responding.
- SCRA (Servicemembers Civil Relief Act) — federal law protecting active duty members. Deployments cannot be used as grounds to alter custody. If Katie tries to change custody while you're deployed in the future, you can invoke SCRA to pause proceedings for at least 90 days.
- UCCJEA (Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction & Enforcement Act) — determines which state controls custody decisions. Since Violet lives with you in Arizona, Arizona almost certainly has jurisdiction — not Missouri.
- Emergency / Temporary Custody Order — a court can issue a fast order establishing temporary custody, locking in Violet's current status while the full case plays out. This is the key move to make before June 15.
- Abandonment — Katie voluntarily left Violet behind with no custody arrangement in place. Courts treat parental abandonment seriously when evaluating a parent's fitness and intentions.
- Best Interests of the Child — the standard all custody decisions are measured against. A parent who abandoned her child, has an active arrest, and is living with a registered sex offender faces a very difficult argument under this standard.
- Physical vs. Legal Custody — physical = where Violet lives day-to-day; legal = who makes decisions about her life (school, healthcare, etc.). Alex should request both.